I wasn’t listening. I was too busy with other life stuff.

Just under 2 minutes read. Guest blog contributor Jeremy Torr has written this raw and heartfelt piece about listening, or not!

I used to be married. Twenty-four years’ worth. Four kids, interesting life, lots of great mutual friends, pet dog and all.

My wife was working as a nurse, I was working as a journalist. I was really lucky, and got sent to lots of really cool places around the world – and my wife travelled quite often to visit relatives in South America. We had small ups and downs, but nothing out of the ordinary.

One time we were talking about friends and how they changed over time, and my wife mentioned that she had a kind of ranking system, where some friends were more than just plain friends. I heard, and said yes, I had some friends that were really special too.

But I didn’t listen. What she was really saying was that one of our friends was becoming something more than just a friend to her – and I think she was trying to warn me things could change. Maybe asking for help to get things back on track for her. But I didn’t listen.

A few months later, she left our quarter-century family and went to live in England with my best friend. The impact on me, and the family, was horrendous. It still resonates after more than 20 years.

But she had tried to warn me; maybe even reached out to ask for help to move back from what was happening. But I wasn’t listening. I was too busy with other life stuff.

After she had gone, I had plenty of time to spend thinking about what I hadn’t heard; hadn’t listened to. And I wish I had. I think maybe the children wished that too – the ripples from not hearing often wash up against more than one person.

Keep your ears open. Listen, don’t just hear.